hatRed And purPlE succubi
who does this sort of thing? i mean, really.
once again, to be misled then tossed aside, discarded. twice is too many times. why this repitition of stupidity?? why dont i ever learn??
this sort of thing peeves me beyond any and all recognition. why is honesty such a scarce characteristic? why lie? what purpose does it serve?
why am i up to my neck in crap, scared out of my wits, and alone again? alone to face the fears and demons that haunt the shadows of my mind. ready to jump out and pounce whenever im most vulnerable. now, with no one to talk to, or confide in. when will i learn?
no good can come from this sort of behaviour. this breeds hate and contempt. what the hell was i thinking? [oh, but it was different then, wasnt it? there was a lot of mutual excitement and like-age going on. now, there is but emptiness and aloneness. and dark dank fear. evil fear. worry. unsurity]
excuses. bogus excuses. they are enough to make me wanna throw up. they make me wanna ... kill with wild abandon. i see red. red. red. i see people. dead. dead. dead. ... well, one person in particular. but, the self-hatred is there just the same. to be USED in such a manner!! how absolutely horrid! how could this happen again?? when will i learn?? no one can be trusted. especially not the cute ones. ESPECIALLY those. they are filled with decrepid deceit. falsities. lies. corruption.
i want nothing more than to talk of my fears... i want nothing more than an affectionate, sympathetic ear to listen to my troubles, give me a hug and tell me everything will be okay. and instead?? i get: emptiness: "stay away from me, you psycho hag!! i never wanna see you again!!". which leaves me to wonder: what the HELL did i do?? where did i go wrong?? what should i have done differently?? i thought something mutual was going on. some sort of friendship forged.... i thought. i thought. i thought. silly silly me.
and now? who knows. id as soon slash my wrists than go to a doctor. id rather wither and die, than seek help. why should i? isnt this what i deserve? there is no cure for stupidity. and, ladies and gentlemen, ive been had. again. in the most horrible ways. my trust, shattered. how am i supposed to believe anything anyone ever says to me again? lock me away and throw away the key!! i deserve nothing less.
stupid, stupid me. i shouldve known.
i wonder what he is thinking. i wonder... only a few things could instigate this sort of bogus excuse-making: easier p*ssy. boredom w/ yours truly. i dunno what else. perhaps i truly am disgusting. i mean, why else discard me in a manner so cold. so very cold.
shit. fuck. bitch.
once again, to be misled then tossed aside, discarded. twice is too many times. why this repitition of stupidity?? why dont i ever learn??
this sort of thing peeves me beyond any and all recognition. why is honesty such a scarce characteristic? why lie? what purpose does it serve?
why am i up to my neck in crap, scared out of my wits, and alone again? alone to face the fears and demons that haunt the shadows of my mind. ready to jump out and pounce whenever im most vulnerable. now, with no one to talk to, or confide in. when will i learn?
no good can come from this sort of behaviour. this breeds hate and contempt. what the hell was i thinking? [oh, but it was different then, wasnt it? there was a lot of mutual excitement and like-age going on. now, there is but emptiness and aloneness. and dark dank fear. evil fear. worry. unsurity]
excuses. bogus excuses. they are enough to make me wanna throw up. they make me wanna ... kill with wild abandon. i see red. red. red. i see people. dead. dead. dead. ... well, one person in particular. but, the self-hatred is there just the same. to be USED in such a manner!! how absolutely horrid! how could this happen again?? when will i learn?? no one can be trusted. especially not the cute ones. ESPECIALLY those. they are filled with decrepid deceit. falsities. lies. corruption.
i want nothing more than to talk of my fears... i want nothing more than an affectionate, sympathetic ear to listen to my troubles, give me a hug and tell me everything will be okay. and instead?? i get: emptiness: "stay away from me, you psycho hag!! i never wanna see you again!!". which leaves me to wonder: what the HELL did i do?? where did i go wrong?? what should i have done differently?? i thought something mutual was going on. some sort of friendship forged.... i thought. i thought. i thought. silly silly me.
and now? who knows. id as soon slash my wrists than go to a doctor. id rather wither and die, than seek help. why should i? isnt this what i deserve? there is no cure for stupidity. and, ladies and gentlemen, ive been had. again. in the most horrible ways. my trust, shattered. how am i supposed to believe anything anyone ever says to me again? lock me away and throw away the key!! i deserve nothing less.
stupid, stupid me. i shouldve known.
i wonder what he is thinking. i wonder... only a few things could instigate this sort of bogus excuse-making: easier p*ssy. boredom w/ yours truly. i dunno what else. perhaps i truly am disgusting. i mean, why else discard me in a manner so cold. so very cold.
shit. fuck. bitch.
posted by AristoNeeks | 1:25 pm
