regression
there is so much shit in the world. at times, its easier to feel suffocated and alone. but, obviously, there are bigger things out there. being self-centred - ignorant - doesnt make all the bad stuff go away.
on the contrary - shouldnt i be doing something important with my life? *is it truly my life?* when reading of other people and their experiences, lives... everything, its easy to feel insignificant. its easy to forget... confusion comes naturally. likewise, insecurity. inferiority.
how to shut everything out? would you want to?
when the focus blurs, are we all really here? when you cant deal with yourself, is it better to deal with everything else? immerse yourself in the troubles of others? care more? care less? say: "fuck everything!"?
what to do to fit in? why is there a desperate need to fit in anyway?
why is acceptance elusive, yet so important? coz, regardless, say what you want, everyone wants companionship. words do harm. especially rejection. i dont care who you are, its a universal truth. just deal with it.
there is always someone with problems to dwarf your own.
mostly, our problems are but pseudo-problems. exaggerated by our feeble minds to become all-consuming.
just a lot of psychobabble bullspit.
i dunno.
strange. i seem to want too much all at once, without wanting to put in the work for it. know what i mean? i want friends. the real kind. that stick with you through everything. the kewl kind. the intellectual ones. the ones that understand the puns. those that get the inside jokes. and know that sometimes, its okay to just be in the presence of each other.
sometimes silence can be golden.
mostly, tho, its just the ardent reminder that you're alone. too stupid, lame, retarded to make your own friends. too afraid. too worried about rejection.
*do i look like a fucktard in this? ultimately, who cares?*
why would anyone give a flying xmas fuck anyway about what other people think? why is it so important?
i dunno.
i don't know.
the solution escapes me.
*what can i say to make me appealing?*
on the contrary - shouldnt i be doing something important with my life? *is it truly my life?* when reading of other people and their experiences, lives... everything, its easy to feel insignificant. its easy to forget... confusion comes naturally. likewise, insecurity. inferiority.
how to shut everything out? would you want to?
when the focus blurs, are we all really here? when you cant deal with yourself, is it better to deal with everything else? immerse yourself in the troubles of others? care more? care less? say: "fuck everything!"?
what to do to fit in? why is there a desperate need to fit in anyway?
why is acceptance elusive, yet so important? coz, regardless, say what you want, everyone wants companionship. words do harm. especially rejection. i dont care who you are, its a universal truth. just deal with it.
there is always someone with problems to dwarf your own.
mostly, our problems are but pseudo-problems. exaggerated by our feeble minds to become all-consuming.
just a lot of psychobabble bullspit.
i dunno.
strange. i seem to want too much all at once, without wanting to put in the work for it. know what i mean? i want friends. the real kind. that stick with you through everything. the kewl kind. the intellectual ones. the ones that understand the puns. those that get the inside jokes. and know that sometimes, its okay to just be in the presence of each other.
sometimes silence can be golden.
mostly, tho, its just the ardent reminder that you're alone. too stupid, lame, retarded to make your own friends. too afraid. too worried about rejection.
*do i look like a fucktard in this? ultimately, who cares?*
why would anyone give a flying xmas fuck anyway about what other people think? why is it so important?
i dunno.
i don't know.
the solution escapes me.
*what can i say to make me appealing?*
posted by AristoNeeks | 3:39 pm
Because people don't want to be alone. No matter what they say. It takes an insanely strong person to say they don't care about what others think.
We're just not wired that way.
it would be impossible for me to agree more.
my wiring may be faulty. but, i short-circuit sporadically just like everyone else.