v 3.1
it occurred to me today that there is not one single thing i like about my job. not one thing. not one aspect. there is no joy or satisfaction for me in what i do. having to go to work fills me with the utmost dread. daily. i lead a life of listlessness.
i realized that, at my job, 80% of the time, we, the worker ants, are belittled. our self esteem is wiped out and we are made to feel like the dumbest creatures on earth.
“how do they do this?”, you ask. simple. they set unrealistic budgets [ie, time you have per project] and freak out on you when you do not meet these deadlines. this is supposed to be a “training” contract. by proxy, everything i do, i do for the first time. therefore, i dont know what im doing half the time. then i get yelled at for not being done in time. there is zero support, coz everybody’s too busy with their own unrealistic deadlines. vicious cycle.
so, result? we are expected to complete the work in our own time, at no remuneration. ie, free overtime. coz, free overtime equals a happy big boss. they are the ones sharing in the profit and that have the stock options after all. less staff and more work, equals more distributable income for the big boys. and that, ladies and gents, is the bottom line.
it boggles my mind to think how little self worth i have. i did a couple IQ tests. average: 133. i was #1 academic in primary school. #1 in the SCHOOL. smartest kid. i was top 5% in high school. i went to 6 different schools in the 12 years i went to school. [we moved a lot] i got 2 degrees, first time round. no flunkings. BCom in chartered accountancy. Hons in Financial accounting. we started out in my first year, 1500 students. by 3rd year, we were 180. in my honours year, we were 85. not easy feats.
and yet, i spend most of my time feeling worthless.
stupid.
sadly, to my dismay, i have realised a couple other things too. tho, my grasp of languages is pretty good, better than most, really. i will never be a writer or have a future in journo-ism. im okay, but im not GREAT. i could never write like arc or ej or niel or any of the other journos. il never be a great photographer, my pics always come out skew. and altho i love nothing better in this world than to draw and paint, im not great at it. il never be able to do anything like debaser’s. so, altho i hate my current job. i have no idea what else i could possibly support myself on. life is expensive, kiddies. its a capitalist corporate jungle out there.
i have a year and a half left in this place. and, it looks like im gonna spend the last half of it, as i have the first, as a number. so, just call me 831. or 3.1 for short.
after all, its the number they branded me with, when i first walked in the door.
posted by AristoNeeks | 8:06 am
Sounds to me you need a change of job pronto. I can imagine that even in CA there can be nice bosses out there. Yours sounds like a lame arse idiot.
Imbecile. I recently found the word again, and it's just cool.
i'm studying towards CPA at the moment and the prospects don't look too promising...
that's why i plan on finishing my B.Com this year and jetting off to Japan to cram English into the little anime-lovers' heads next year... ;p
i don't think i can totally relate with your situation but i can at least try to imagine it... i lost what little love i had for accounting in my second year, and now i despise it... but i recently realized that if i don't put in a little effort now my dreams of Japan will remain exactly that... dreams...
sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and stay at it, with the hope of a better future to come...
although, admittedly, you have 18 months of hell left next to my 3 months of it, and i get to party and watch anime inbetween..
Ganbatte kudasai!!
I agree with Death, Neko. :) Keep at it for the next year and a half, and then move into the corporate sector!
You just wait. I'll bump into you in Starbucks on Manhattan Island one day, and you'll tell me that we can't talk now, got to run, important meeting with the CEO, but we'll do lunch Tuesday.
Just don't stay an auditor, it'll kill you...
There is really nothing to say that is not cold comfort.
I guess when I look back on all of the shitty jobs I have had, I ask myself, "Why did fate make me waste all of that precious time?"
You DO learn "survival skills" at a shitty job--i.e., how to take abuse, how to deal with an asshole, and how to suffer incomprehensible boredom. You also learn what I call "emotional intelligence"--the ability to keep your cool while Rome is burning.
The silver lining--and it is not much of one--is that someday you might get a non-abusive job, and you will appreciate it more because of all the crap you had to take at this one.
Dear 831. Death has a point. Your job will kill you if you hate it that much. There is always time to go and do that one thing that makes you want to get up in the morning. The one thing that will make you smile and put some money in your pocket at the same time. Unfortunately, us bloggers can't tell you what that is but find it quickly - you need to!
I tend to think nearly all jobs suck. I was essentially treated the same way as you when I was an intern all the way up to being a magazine editor. Someone higher up always has to make your life seem worthless. In my case, it was a Frenchman with--according to most of the staff's theories, anyway--a small and functionless dick.
Try not to let it get you down. I mean, you only have to work for, like, sixty years or so. That's why my hobby is getting black-out drunk. Some people call that coping.
People are always elevated to their highest level of incompetence. I'm at the top of my game as a manager. Next step is being an owner- and that bites- been there, done that.
-Morbid is right all jobs do suck because you HAVE to be there day after day.
Neko- my only advice after being in the "work force" for 26 odd years is; Do what you like and like what you do... You can ALWAYS
change your profession! I did.
I also hate my job. It only gives me comfort when i think that i will be leaving in another 8 months.(YIPEE)And never again will i do Internal Auditing again. It sucks...
I hate the unrealistic deadlines. I think that the Seniors who give us these unrealistic deadlines to achieve and then shout at you,were treated in this same manner when they were doing their articles. So they impose the same behaviour unto us and the cycle continues.. Although i would think that they would realise from the way they felt ...to treat us or not set these deadlines....for us.
thanks for your contributions everyone, makes my heart smile.
reenen,
alas, i cant just stop my articles. im gonna have to grin and bear it -- stick it out for the rest of the time. after this, its the private sector for me.
snoopi,
you know im insanely jealous of you, right? looking forward to your future blog on teaching english in japan.
oh,death,
i know these things and i try to tell myself repeatedly-- this too will pass... but, in the moments when someone is actually taking out their frustrations on you, it gets difficult..
hey mike!
il have a cafe latte, extra sugah!
wendy,
im so afraid of dying, when i am yet to really live.. *sigh* i dunno. i sometimes wonder if il ever find the job im looking for!
morb,
surely you must love the magazine editing game. why else go that direction?
im gonna have to find some vice other than drinking, if i am going to cope.. drinking doesnt appeal to me.. ah well. hope i think of something.
poly2,
ever since the first time a read a Dilbert book, i have been looking forward to reaching my top level of incompetence! i cant wait.
coz, essentially, the guys at the top get the stock options. we, the little guys, do the work.
hey ruby,
you're leaving? but what are you gonna do next?
you do realise that we have qualified ourselves so far in this field, we cant really do much else.
i cant wait to go corporate...
neko,I make mistakes and feel like a complete idiot too,
but try to believe that there's something to learn or grasp from every situation,you know - "theres a reason for every season". Try to think back why you wanted to be an auditor,maybe it'll rekindle that passion!
don't give up until you get the lesson!
Hang in there!
hmmm... interesting thought, pudn.
except, i never wanted to be an auditor.
i do remember wanting to make enough money to be comfy. and, in many ways, i have achieved that goal. [well, i still live with my old ppl, so im not completely independent yet.]
*sigh*
goal achieved, in that sense. but, this isnt what i wanna do with my life.
hey you are amazingly smart........i don't know my iq, never did that well at school or here at stel, but i did find some part of what i did interesting...........maybe i'm naive, but i think that if you could just find one thing, just one part of what you're doing right now that interests you'll survive it.....like i said i'm naive..........if it makes you feel better i'm so envious of your natural intelligence and abilities, i have zero creative skill and am pretty stupid, so at least you know you rock!!!!!
Hi Neko,
My contract ends here. Then i have to find another job (still in the NWest). Wanna get practice exposure.
I think i would enjoy doing financial statements more rather than being an internal auditor.
Looks like everybody's pretty much given you the good advice already! I'd just like to say that I do not believe we can all enjoy our jobs 100% of the time. For most of us, it will be a means to an end, nothing more. But seeing as we spend so much of our lives at our jobs, they should at least be marginally satisfying. If your job isn't that, then leave. If it's something that, too, shall pass, and is a necessary evil on your path to a better future, then grin and bear it. Eyes on the prize, Violet. Eyes on the prize.
alewyn,
hey! goed om jou weer te sien.
soortvan.
ek hou nou weer van voorraadopnames. ek kan heel dag sportscars tel. hee hee.
dis die gewonde oudit wat op my senuwees werk. en die kliënte!
lexi,
awww. fanks. sweet of you to say.
dont be insane, you are very creative and incredibly smart.
*^_^*
thanks ruby,
i dont like doing AFS. it sucks. and its sorta complicated. and every manager has different preferences when it comes to the aesthetics of the thing. its just ... lame.
eoh,
in my case, its gonna have to be, eyes on the prize. giving up now would mean all the crap i went through my entire life, up to this point, will have been for nada.
im grimacing and bearing it, i guess.