when darkness falls
What am I worth to you?
How is a person’s worth determined anyway? Is there some sort of calculation or algorithm that gives the indisputable proof and distinction between who is “better” than someone else?
Are all people truly created equal? Or, are there nuances and evolutionary discrepancies that creep into the genes, making some more worthy or important than others.
What constitutes “worth”?
Someone I admire once told me that – Love doesn’t run out. Never. It doesn’t happen. What runs out is one person’s willingness to sacrifice for the other.
How will I ever be worthy?
worthy of what??
What do you do when love is not reciprocated, and your heart aches and breaks? How do you stop the cycle of shock – pain – shock – pain – anguish – shock – pain – ad infinitum?
There is nowhere to run; nowhere to find comfort or solace. There are only the dark hours and tears.
How do you JUST F***ING STOP calling and hurting and crying?? How do you stop thinking of that which just haunts and hurts and humiliates you? When does the longing, lingering, lamenting end?
Why am I not worth the effort?
…
Unworthy of love..
I’m so exhausted from hurting ALL the time.
I believe it was Dr. Shirley (Dolly Parton) from Working 9 to 5, or something to that effect who said – if you are in a unloving relationship where the guy doesn’t value you for who and what you are, then changing yourself to suit him, hoping he’ll wake up one day, is only gonna lead to more pain.
He may wake up and notice you, or he may never. The best thing to do is get up and get out – meet people and live for oneself. He may wake up, or he may not. At least you then didn’t waste your life waiting for someone who may never love you back.
Or, … so I’ve heard.
posted by morbidneko | 12:34 am
Dr. Shirley sounds very sensible to me. Please don't make a martyr out of yourself over this; there is no happiness down that avenue. Aren't you so very tired of it by now?
If you've got so much love to give, then the time has come to get out there and spread it around. A person's worth is measured by the impact they've made in the lives of others. You've impacted mine (anonymously, at that!). You could never be worthless. But, you could always be worth more...
hey eoh.
things are looking up for me.
altho the secondment to indonesia didnt work out, i have plans for the december hols. and all my weekends from now till the end of the year, are all booked.
i have chucked off the martyr's cloak - well, most of the time anyway.
^_^
attitude really is everything. and the people you are with, have a huge impact on your happiness.
i've found some people i enjoy being around. and, im gonna spend some time with them - you know, people who actually want me, and appreciate me for who i am.
anyway.
i hope i get to meet you one day, eoh. lemme know when you hit the mother country again. ^_^
it will be awesome - certainly something to look forward to!
I hope you are doing better, because as I read this post I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Glad you have things to keep you busy. Stay alive and keep yourself out there, and you will find something to distract from the pain.
I've been away a lot this weekend, but it's good to catch up with you. Where have you been? Missed you, ya know?
hi, mr eric
ive been around.. the thing is, i only really blog when i am depro, or when i need to vent. so, if you dont hear from me, it means im having a good time.
i had a good weekend.
'i had a good weekend'
obligatory Groucho Marx quote: "but this wasn't it!"
:-)
-a
Glad you had a good weekend, and I hope they keep getting better.
Just sayin' I missed ya, that's all. Sue me!
a,
touche.
eric
i've been around. i'm just REALLY busy right now, at work. I've got a client that will determine my fate for the next 6 months. Not a happy prospect, I can tell you.
I will visit again soon..
Your destiny lies with the darkside.
Give in to your hate, and complete your journey.
Or just have a great weekend. I hope all went well with the client, and all will be the best with your personal life.
Take your time. I'm sometimes an impatient ass.
thanks, eric
i had a pretty good weekend. :) im not blogging right now, coz im not depressed enough. the holidays beckon.. there is much planning to be done.. ^_^
have a great week!!
I wonder why we all go out to search for that 1 special someone the one who is suppose to make all our dreams come true and the bang the bastards hurt you!! when will we ever learn love is not about other people yes sure its nice to be loved and to love but no-one can give you a 100% comitment of forever love the kind we all want its sadly pathetic... and don't go oe but you say that and you have been married 4 3 years girl marriage is no different than dating only difference is that you keep on "seeing" the same old person they still keep changing and annoy you and drive you insane and best of all they still god damn hurt the living CRAP out of you!!!
buzz,
that's SO painfully cynical, it almost brings tears to my eyes. :) welcome to the club.
^_^