the light at the end of the torch
Here is the secret, friends and neighbours:
Get busy.
One can never forget, and the pain does not diminish.. but, the mind is an agile thing..
there was a knock at the door - it is my future, and it beckons..
posted by morbidneko | 1:30 am
Hurrah for busy schedules!
They haven't been showing Bleach here as of late. Do you know if they ever saved Rukia? Goddamned Cartoon Network.
dear eoh,
my busy schedule is kicking my asp. the stress!! it burns, it burns!!
morbs!
they saved Rukia, eventually. There was a 3 episode long fight of course. everyone fighting everyone else.
then - shortly after saving her, Inoue gets kidnapped.. it's just one thing after the other..
you know we are FAR behind, right? i havent had time to watch any new eps lately..
sigh
when is my Prince Charming gonna come rescue me? I may have to rescue myself. dammit. it happens.
Get busy is very, very good advice.
What's up, MorbidNeko? You can cheer up any time now...
I've been busy. It does help. I love when I can get busy writing. That's the best of all worlds. I hope your world has been a better place for you.
Thanks for the responses and checking up on me. I'm glad to see you make it through bad times, I should be able to do the same.
And watch out for strange futures. The your future might be standing behind the the one at your door!
Peace out.
wendy
good to see you around again. ^_^ i didnt know you were from jozi... thought you hail from the fair cape... :)
no time like xmas to get really busy!
hey eric
reason i havnt been blogging, is coz im.. happy. :) i've been getting out and hanging out, and there certainly is something to be said for the whole being social thing. :)
the office closes on friday, so i probably wont be back for a while. i have a back-breaking workweek ahead of me. so, id better get off the internet now and get working.
it is always a pleasure to read your words. ^_^
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And to read yours, as well, my friend, that's why I ask after you all the time.
I'm so glad to see you being vital like this. It was so sad to see you down, I didn't know what to do or say. All I knew is that love still had you blinded, and in that case it was blindness about yourself and what you are worth.
So I just did what came naturally--I rambled and it was a beautiful thing.
Catch up on work, and drop by any time. I started to find love again, then love dumped on me, so I'm once again a has not as I will always be.
Don't worry about me, though, because I'm dealing with everything as well as you have dealt with it. Only this was just a growing flirtation between friends. It was at all on the scale that you dealt with. Still, it hurts. It always will.
Take care, and see you soon.
mr eric,
im in a sort of emotional limbo right now, with life carrying on as usual on the outside.
i have a new guy, but he lives far away too. the x has seen the error of his ways, and wants me back. he too, is far away.
my job continues to suck joy, life and light from me. and, all hopes for something different in the coming year have been dashed.
the next 3 days are going to be difficult workwise, and i havnt started packing for my impending holiday yet. i dont even have directions yet. just a vague travel plan..
i will be traversing 3,000 km's in 10 days. that's a lot of gas money.
what should i do, eric? i'm at my wits end.
waiting and seeing is not working. perhaps i need to be more patient. perhaps i need to be more decisive.
i wish...
my heart's desires are many and far-fetched.
you can do anything you put your mind to, they told me. i can do anything at all..
ANYTHING.
so, why doesnt it feel that way?
It doesn't feel that way because they lie. It's like the American Dream myth--that it's easy to make money, that if you are honest and hardworking, you will eventually get everything you ever wanted.
It's a crock of shit! You have to work a lot harder than they say, and even then, there are no guarantees. Stealing money will get you farther. Steal from a store, and you go to prison for ten years. Steal millions from a corporation, and they fire you and say it's not worth the lawyers to do anything about it. Krazy, stoopid kountry...
But enough ranting about my shitty country built on lies and the gullible herds who believe them.
New guy--good for you! I knew you would find the guy who liked you. I say it like that because it's true: Every girl has an admirer from afar, no matter what the girl thinks, it's true.
Surprise, surprise--the ex realizes that kind, sensitive, artistic, intelligent girls who dig video games are a total fucking luxury not often found.
Keep him at arms length, no matter what. The urge will be there, but respect yourself and give the new guy his proper chance. I'm sure you will. The ex blew it. Make it stick and don't look back.
As for 3,000 kms... That just sucks, plain and simple. I do not envy you. I see how and why you hate your job. I don't blame you at all. But, it's better than being unemployed. Let me tell you! I've been jobless for a good bit now, and it's sucking my will to live right out my eye sockets.
Just hang in there, OK? Drop by from time to time, see me.
I have to go visit my aunt Theresa again tomorrow. She has six brain tumors and had a stroke in the hospital. There isn't much time left for her and it makes me so sad to think of a world without her.
Cherish your loved ones, Neko.
Talk to you again soon.
Sweet! We were on the same wavelength!
Glad to see you in my hood, my friend. Drop by again soon, as I'm about to post then go to sleep.
Take care, MorbidNeko. Hang in there.
thanks, eric.
u realise that its 9am here, and im at work, right? avoiding work as best i can.. ... yeah.
^_^
it would be EASY for me to go back to my ex.. almost too easy, to slip back into the way things were.
then, i read how i felt, and i remember how it was when he left me. and i just cant..
then there is the new guy - sweet and sensitive. supportive. there for me. and i gave him my word that i wouldnt break his heart.
guys are idiots.
and im the biggest dunce of all.
im back into default wait and see mode.
Thank you for your wishes, respect and condolences.
And what I'm happy about is you're taking the new guy seriously. Yes, guys are idiots when it comes to love. I just did the same thing a little while ago, started talking to someone, things started heating up, and I asked point-blank "please, don;t break my heart".
What else is there to say?
But you are not a dunce. You know. Pain is the beginning of enlightenment, so say Tyler Durden in Fight Club, so it is true. You are enlightened now, so do not use your wisdom for evil! Lots of people do. And lots don't. Be on the light side of the yin yang. Even if you are the little black dot in the light half, you are good.
Take care, my friend.
And, ahh, yes. I have felt a lot of what I just called "pre-enlightenment" in my lifetime.
I am not wise, but getting there. And so are you. And I am so glad that you are doing better.
Now, do all the women in your country that the ex might come into contact with a favor and do not ever get back with that chump. Teach him what it is to squander a good woman's heart and her passion. Leave him twisting in the void until he becomes enlightened. It'll take a while, maybe never, but he needs it. That'd why he did what he did. He is the biggest dunce of them all, not you.
Take care, Neko.
Peace and love, my friend.
And drop by when you get the chance! I have a funny post--at least, it's kinda funny.
:) Keep moving forward hon.
Happy Christmas
xx
pinks
Hope you had a good holiday, Neko.
Missed ya, but I know you are busy.
Peace out.