HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

repugnant impulse for introspection

one would think that those closest to someone, would garner the most trust and faith.

why is it that the opinion of others carries so much more weight than that of close friends and family? what does it matter what other people – strangers - think?

*oh, but it does matter*

i would say, “i look disgusting.”

to which the reply would be, “you’re gorgeous.”

“you’re just saying that coz you’re biased, and you want me to be happy.”

*why is there a problem with that?*

**sigh**

maybe more faith should be put in the words of those who know you best.

who know me best.

reaching for the edge of apocalypse

so, today i wrote my 3rd 5 hour paper. 1 more to go.

but, it goes from bad to worse, coz after exams, it's back to the grindstone. *sigh* work sux. and i wud really rather sit at home. do a bit of reading. a bit of pc gaming. who knows.

random thought i had today: i think i may enjoy my job more, if i were allowed to dress the way i do over weekends, ie. baby dol t, my DCs, jeans... but, they frown on that sort of thing. it doesnt reflect a "professional image". ah well.

bring vir die harlekyn nog wyn

you know, its a funny ole world.

i try to avoid watching the news as much as possible. dont listen to the radio in my car either, too irritating. because, regardless of time, day, anything... the news always leaves me depressed. the country, the world, is in such a sorry state. i cant believe that in the era of TECHNOLOGY, global communication, there are countries overflowing with people starving, people killing each other... people starting and stoking wars.

i am yet to come across a religion which condones, not to mention encourages, murder.

wtf?

corruption is rife everywhere. the people entrusted with taking care of those less fortunate, are grossly neglecting / ignoring their responsibilities. where is accountability?

the education system in this country is a joke. on the news, tonight, it was said that the government is aware of the fact that 8 out of 10 high schools are dysfunctional, ie. nothing is going on there. no learning / teaching.

dammit. this pisses me off.

here is my suggestion. [coz bitching, without coming up with some sort of solution, is a waste of resources.] i think that, just as doctors are forced to do 2 to 3 years community service, i believe the same should be done to the executive world. why arent the world’s top CEOs doing more against poverty? why arent the brightest minds put to work making the country a more functional place? the C and D students are leading, setting the impractical policies and implementing their half-baked plans.

i believe in sustainability. teach a man to fish and all that. just giving away food, clothes and shelter only teaches people that if you sit around long enough not doing anything, except maybe making a bunch of babies you cant take care of, someone else will do the hard work for you.

and makes the rest of the populace resentful.

there is a [misconceived / wrong / ridiculous] sense of entitlement in this country. everybody wants something for nothing. free houses. free schooling. free medical care. at some point the tax is gonna be so ridiculously high, there’ll be no point in going to work. where else do they suppose the money is supposed to come from?

it is the government’s JOB to take care of its people. politicians should be SERVING the community. what has the president done for me lately? except take 20% of my paycheck regular like clockwork every month. [im still on the entry level tax bracket. its downhill from here. i have calculated that i will need to start my own business if i wanna make any kind of money to be able to afford the life i want. when im too old to enjoy it the way i want to].

i have a problem with the people who work the hardest, study the hardest getting taxed the hardest.

wtf?

with power comes responsibility, they say. someone needs to enlighten SAs leaders.

they are spending more money and energy on NAME CHANGES than the critical issues [ie, poverty, AIDS, escalating medical costs, unemployment]. parliament is a joke. grown-up assed people fighting like pre-schoolers. yelling, screaming, attacking each other. and to what end?

my highschool was on the news this evening. people protesting in front of the school. they scream racism. the reason: the school plans to change its teaching medium back to afrikaans, as it has been for decades. why are the parents protesting in the streets and not going to PTA meetings? because they are UNINVOLVED in their children’s lives and you will never see them at a parents’ nights or meetings. yet, they yell the loudest, like toddlers having tantrums, when they find out things arent going the way they want it. [i believe the school is within its rights. an english highschool was built for the english kids. but, they wanna go to the afrikaans school. but, they want to change the afrikaans school to something else. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

WHY NOT BUILD THEIR OWN, instead of cocking up an established school???

*sigh*

politics peeves me.

holier-than-thou sanctimonious hypocrites. [forgive my generalising. im in a dark place emotionally.]

the jester chokes on her post-binge vomit.

...

[ed’s note: um, i dont drink [alcohol] ... its a sort of metaphor, you see. after the media forced all this bile down my throat, i got nauseous with the experience, and regurgitated what you see before you now. its a gross acidic mess of odds and ends. i apologize for the disarray / lack of flow. it had to come out, one way or another.]

Mike tagged me

so, here are some random facts about me... dunno if il get to 20, im not that interesting.

1. i enjoy rock and alternative music. and a smidgeon of metal.

2. i was born in Belville, Cape Town, 10 April 1983, also at 08h10. i believe it was a sunday morning... i could be wrong. I got pushed out, the natural way.

3. even tho i bitch a lot, my life is actually quite good and i have a lot to be grateful for.

4. i earned my BCom in accounting at Potch varsity 2003, altho i did my 1st year at RAU in Joburg, and i got my HONS at Potch too. now, im studying via UNISA to get CTA. [exams start in T minus 4 days]

5. my boyfriend studies at stel, but lives in Jbay. We have been in a relationship for 4 years. all of them long distance. [we were at the same high school for 3 years, and if we had 2 conversations during that time, itd be a lot]

6. i have very few friends. i define a friend as someone you can hang out with and depend on and enjoy being with.

7. i own my very own little car. its silver. its a corsa. im paying it off over 4 years. so far, ive pretty much only paid the interest. 2,5 more years to go.

8. i enjoy drawing, painting, writing, reading and PC games [mostly RTS and RPG] and some anime.

9. i have a shitty pc at home.

10. im a short person... bordering on being a hobbitses. [1,55m]

11. i have one sibling, a younger brother who is MUCH cooler than i am. he plays guitar and introduced me to my current boyfriend. He got married this year and lives in Pretoria.

12. im bored most of the time.

13. i recently started gyming. [as in, monday] and i enjoy it, which came as a major surprise to me.

14. i hate my job. [trainee accountant, 2nd year articles]

15. if i dont pass my exam, my senior manager said they are gonna fire me at the end of this year. no pressure.

16. sarcasm is my friend.

17. i have read 90% of Stephen King's books.

18. im growing my hair till i get married. (if il ever get married) right now, it covers my chest. studies show that girls with long hair look more attractive to guys, coz it exudes youth and virility. apparently.

19. im a girl.

20. i wanna travel the world, but dont have the self-discipline to save sum munny to do so.

thanks for the tag, Mike! i dont have much to say these days. studying is kicking my ass. *^_^*