Prunella made me do it

8 random things about me in haiku form.

Here goes,

I am a sad lonely girl,
Noir thoughts of misery
darken the long hours.

I really like blue.
I do not like girly things.
I’d rather murder.

My toes are pretty.
Sometimes I paint them goth black.
I’m not a goth tho.

My parents hate me.
I’m a huge disappointment.
It was not my fault.

My attitude stinks.
Life is about perception.
I’m a hypocrite.

I bitch all the time.
I’m annoying to myself.
I bully myself.

I’ve gained 7 pounds.
But I think I look alright.
I’m not bothered tho.

I think of sui-
cide all the time, I should be
dead, but I’m not yet.

Ba-bai hasie hasie (Afr. Post)

Inleiding

my lewe - 'n nimmereindigende kruispad.

Wie is ek

'n bedorwe ou brokkie staar na die rekenaarskerm voor haar. Gebore in die Kaap van storms, en daai tafelvormige berg, geskep uit liefde, groot bruin ogies vol verwagting en verwonder. nomadies van die een hoek van die land na die ander - nou oppad na my middel-twintiger jare. My gesig die ene skok - waarheen is my jongdae? Hard geswot, hard gewerk, alleen en verwoes. My lewe is 'n oopboek toets - die antwoorde is daar, maar hoe gaan ek toepassing en insig vind?

Waarheen is ek oppad

my lewe lê oop voor my, 'n gekronkelde pad - soos die gekreukelde gesig van my afgestorwe ouma, vol liefde, pyne, skete en vreugde. daar is geen padkaart. net oneindigende teer tot in ewigheid. ek is waarskynlik oppad nêrens heen. een van die dae bou ek my tuiste daar.

Wat is my doel in hierie ou lewe

my brein borrel oor met kennis en tegniek, geskiedenis en humor. ek is 'n afgelewe wilger langs 'n stille meer. hier om so veel van die koel sparkelende waters van kennis op te slurp, en dus my droë en dor blare te vervris.

Hoe voel ek oor die hele saak

Grotendeels is apatie my naam. Sarkasme is my verkore vriendin. Saam gaan ons die lewe in, sinies en negatief. Wat is die eerste stap na die saligheid van geluk? Wie weet.

Naskrif

Dis moeiliker as wat dit lyk.

Random Tagg

Arc tagged me.

Here are 8 random facts about me. I'm not following the rules, coz im not tagging anyone else.

mwoahahahah.

so sue me.

8 facts you really didn't need to know about Neeks:

• I have a profile on Facebook. I no longer want one, coz the craze has gotten ridiculous, with fictional characters talking to other fictional characters there, but i can't bring myself to delete it.
• Neko means Cat. I'm a cat person. I love cats and would love to have a kitty familiar again. I can't due to the nature of my job, I'm always on the road. I've had 2 kitties in my life, Garfield and Chloe.
• I finally bought Singstar for Playstation 2 2 weeks ago. I have dominated since i started playing, about 3 months ago. No one I know has beat me yet. Even though I love it, I have never done and probably will never do any Kareoke.
• I have a really weird accent. This is due to moving all over SA, and even visiting in other countries. I pick up accents relatively quickly. I still roll some of my R's because of the time my family when to Disneyland (Orlando, Florida) more than 10 years ago.
• I'm pretty sure my second language (English), is MUCH better than my home language (Afrikaans). I've always found English easier and more interesting than afr. All the movies and more enjoyable books to me, have always been in English. In fact, I hava a pile of English books at home, in my bookcase that I've bought, but not gotten around to reading yet.
• In my personal opinion, I don't think I'm really good at anything. Hear me out. I mean, I've always been an achiever, but, never as brainy as the top of the brainiest. I'm a B student. I will always be a B student. And I'll always have to work for that B. I mean, I'm usually better at doing things than most people, but, not as good as the best. Where does that leave me? Who knows.
• I try to be positive as much as I can. But, I'm very unhappy about my life. The only source of pain and anger, is my job, which I wouldnt mind so much, if ... I don't know. If some of the people were nicer, and deadlines didn't exist. I might as well go live in Dreamland. The only joy in my life, is the boyfriend I have. But, the visits are few and far between, coz he is on the other side of the country. What's a girl to do?
• I have really great nails. I probably get them from my mom. They look great without a huge amount of work. They are of good strength and good shape. I've never been in a physical girl fight, but if I were, my opponent would probably leave the fight sans eyes, and with a couple clumps of her hair gone AWOL.

Thanks for the tag, Arc! Maybe one day I'll learn to be interesting and not put everyone to sleep with my repetitve b*tching. ^_^

what dnd character am i?

True Neutral Elf Bard

Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

from fred nietzsche

This is really all about me..

4 Errors by Fred Nietzsche

1. The Error of Confusing Cause and Effect.

Example: Live a long and happy life eating the frugal Cornaro diet!

Error: Cornaro thought that his diet was the cause ofhis long life. Actually, his particular physical constitution was the cause of his long life *and* his frugal diet. Others eating this diet might not fare so well! But this erroneous reasoning applies equally well to questions of religion and morality: think ofthe popular contention among the religious that if people were not religious, they would have no reason to act morally -- as if moral codes were the cause of morality.

2. The Error of False Causality.

Example: I am the cause of my thoughts/behaviors. I attribute motives to others as the reasons they act as they do.

Error: The ego is a phantom, called up by reason to account for what occurs -- to make the accounting workout. We created the world of inner causality, will,and motives as players in a story which makes sense,and which works in the most important functional sense as a tool whereby we interact successfully with others... but this is no proof that it is so.

3. The Error of Imaginary Causes.

Example: When just waking up from a dream, a noise will often get incorporated into the dream. A loud bang becomes something that you dropped in your dream,for example.

Error: Your psyche must have caught the sound and held onto it until it could incorporate it into the story of your dream -- until it could make sense of it. But we do this when waking, too. We often make up causes(stories) for what we must incorporate into the story of our lives. Religion could be thought of as part of this impulse to make sense of things. Think of the explanations of why bad things happen to good people.

4. The Error of Free Will.

Example: You committed this crime, therefore you must pay because you could have done otherwise. You didn't have to be a criminal.

Error: Free will is the apologia of the psychology of punishment. We believe you to be free in order to hold you guilty. This ignores the actual complexities of life and each person's inner complexity. It makes possible Sin and Hell, and thereby Forgiveness and Heaven.

Juxtaposition

Today, I will talk about joy.

You may even say, that I wish to wax lyrical about it. Ha ha. Anyway.

Joy is when I see the one person I love most in the world. Especially, when it has been many months since I last saw said person.

This is shit.

It has just come to my attention that I need some chocolate. It may even lighten my mood. Who knows.

So, today, I went to the local traffic department. I had to get my drivers’ license renewed. (It expired last week).

Although we could not be more than 15 people in the queue when I got there, I spent 3,5 hours waiting and queuing. It was not a fun morning.

Not only are there zero instructions and surly government officials, but, seating is limited and the costs are extremely high.

I mean, where is my R250 going? And R20 for 2 mini id photos? (Keeping in mind that they only used one, but sell them in 2s. you’re also not allowed to get ID photo’s from anyone but them. Can you say “rip-off”?)

On the upside, I met some kewl individuals. It’s amazing who you may find yourself queuing with and the conversations that may spring from these chance meetings.

I met a primary school teacher and a nurse. They had some interesting views on life, love and everything in-between.

It is a strange phenomenon how one shares hopes and dreams with random strangers at times.

They had some good advice. Care to hear it? (well, read it)

The best piece of advice I got today, is that – I’m not getting any younger. What I regret now, I’ll regret forever. Therefore, I should do what I want to while I still can. I don’t want to regret not doing what I wanted to when it’s all over…

So. What to do then?

I’ve identified, (with the help of my loving lover) what exactly it is I want in the perfect job for me. More or less the following:

• I want to be able to work flexi-hours.
• I want to be able to work in a pair of jeans and my DCs.
• I don’t want to have to report to an asshole boss.
• I wanna have job satisfaction – like I achieved something, or helped someone.
• I want recognition for a job well done.
• I want to receive a market-related salary – enough to be comfortable.
• I wanna be creative in my job.
  
  Yeah – that’s about it.
  
  The trick would now be to match a job to this.
  
  Oh, and I enjoy drawing.

on my morbid attraction to suffering

this really got me thinking --> a message from god

personality disorder

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth 38% Intellect 82% Emotional Stability 74% Aggressiveness 50% Liveliness 34% Dutifulness 86% Social Assertiveness 34% Sensitivity 50% Paranoia 70% Abstractness 74% Introversion 58% Anxiety 66% Openmindedness 74% Independence 62% Perfectionism 78% Tension 34%

Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

ima trixie pixie

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

self exploration - science fiction

I am: James Tiptree, Jr. (Alice B. Sheldon) In the 1970s she was perhaps the most memorable, and one of the most popular, short story writers. Her real life was as fantastic as her fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

Mike tagged me

so, here are some random facts about me... dunno if il get to 20, im not that interesting.

1. i enjoy rock and alternative music. and a smidgeon of metal.

2. i was born in Belville, Cape Town, 10 April 1983, also at 08h10. i believe it was a sunday morning... i could be wrong. I got pushed out, the natural way.

3. even tho i bitch a lot, my life is actually quite good and i have a lot to be grateful for.

4. i earned my BCom in accounting at Potch varsity 2003, altho i did my 1st year at RAU in Joburg, and i got my HONS at Potch too. now, im studying via UNISA to get CTA. [exams start in T minus 4 days]

5. my boyfriend studies at stel, but lives in Jbay. We have been in a relationship for 4 years. all of them long distance. [we were at the same high school for 3 years, and if we had 2 conversations during that time, itd be a lot]

6. i have very few friends. i define a friend as someone you can hang out with and depend on and enjoy being with.

7. i own my very own little car. its silver. its a corsa. im paying it off over 4 years. so far, ive pretty much only paid the interest. 2,5 more years to go.

8. i enjoy drawing, painting, writing, reading and PC games [mostly RTS and RPG] and some anime.

9. i have a shitty pc at home.

10. im a short person... bordering on being a hobbitses. [1,55m]

11. i have one sibling, a younger brother who is MUCH cooler than i am. he plays guitar and introduced me to my current boyfriend. He got married this year and lives in Pretoria.

12. im bored most of the time.

13. i recently started gyming. [as in, monday] and i enjoy it, which came as a major surprise to me.

14. i hate my job. [trainee accountant, 2nd year articles]

15. if i dont pass my exam, my senior manager said they are gonna fire me at the end of this year. no pressure.

16. sarcasm is my friend.

17. i have read 90% of Stephen King's books.

18. im growing my hair till i get married. (if il ever get married) right now, it covers my chest. studies show that girls with long hair look more attractive to guys, coz it exudes youth and virility. apparently.

19. im a girl.

20. i wanna travel the world, but dont have the self-discipline to save sum munny to do so.

thanks for the tag, Mike! i dont have much to say these days. studying is kicking my ass. *^_^*

TOP 5 READS

TOP 5 authors i could read all day

1) Mr. Stephen King
2) Mr. Terry Pratchett
3) Ms. Anne Rice
4) Mr. Neil Gaiman
5) Ms. Jane Austen

I love tales of the wyrd and uncanny. Ive read most of Stephen King's books. I also own quite a lot of them.

Terry pratchett is brilliant. I wish i were living in Discworld. DEATH is, of course, my fave character. He's so sweet and kewl. It would be nigh impossible to pick a favourite book out of the discworld bunch... :D

Anne Rice. Her tales of vampyres and witches are truly enthralling. Le Stat is a favourite. Also Rowen, of the Mayfair witches. It's gothic romance and adventure one can get lost in.

Mr. Gaiman. His stories, fiction tho they may be, seem more real and raw than anything ive ever read. i enjoy the insane circumstances his characters find themselves in. Once again, gothie girl, Death, is my fave character he's created.

Im a new-comer to the Jane Austen-ism going around in the blogmune. *^_^* But, i could curl up with her books all week, especially with the frigid weather thats been going around. nothing like a good book and a hot cuppa to while away the evenings.

i agree with arcadia on this one. we all read more than most. but, i wouldnt say thats a bad thing.