Existential Quandary
I can’t help but feel that my life is an ever-spiralling tangible tedium, doomed to repeat itself in its boredom. Nothing ever changes, everything stays the same, and I remain… pointless.
Maybe it’s perception. Maybe it’s this small town existence. Maybe it’s the people I do and don’t meet. Maybe I am my own worst enemy, and need to kick the living sh1t outta me. Maybe if I moved, my life would improve. Maybe it would stay entirely the same.
Few things in life are certain.
I wish I knew where I’m going in this life. I wish I knew what some of the future held.
In the meantime, I can only hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.
My days and nights are all the same. I do not possess the knowledge or talents, or whatever it is, to change this.
Maybe next year I’ll have more money. Maybe less. Will this make me happier? Sadder? Maybe next year I’ll work harder. Or less. Maybe I will enjoy my job and it won’t feel like work. Maybe it will be worse and feel like agony.
So, does anyone have a profitable employment opportunity for me?
Things need to change before I stagnate here.
Just a couple more months to escape this… Cycle of anger without depression.
posted by AristoNeeks | 8:21 am
hey - i gave you an award over at my place, did you see it?
as for life and the uncertainty...well...certainty is an illusion...but heck...its one i am willing to maintain.
how i get a semblance of certainty is to set finite goals in the short and medium term and leave the long term to be something maybe a little more amorphous.
hang in there - you will come out the other side and all sorts of opportunities open up after this year.
xx
pinks
thanks, pinks!
didn't see the award, but thanks, anyway!
i live a life of tedium, and yet of uncertainty. i don't know what the future holds. and, the plans i make, never seem to come into fruition. it's like i have no control over my life or destiny.
frustrating to say the least.
It gets easy and yet stays the same.
Big city life is not much different. There's nothing to do in Detroit. Except get drunk, and that too is nothing but a money raining racket.
Hope you do find satisfaction--and a way through your studies. That's the key. Keep trying, and things will work out. Do it now because waiting to later sometimes means waiting a very long time.
I'm haninging in there--I had to move suddenly and it took a while to get settled. Peace out, my angry friend.
We are all our own worst enemies. Perception is everything - you even said so yourself. But there's also interpretation... and I think we can make conscious decisions about how to go about that. You are not powerless.
Perhaps you shall find the meaning of life looking at a shabby piece of Persian Carpet.
Think positive. Things can only get better! We all have to do the shitty things to get to the better things in life. The shitty bits don't last forever!
heya eric
i hope you have made your new digs comfortable by now, and think of it as home.
i'm just getting tired living ideals other than my own. time for some change. i think the new year will usher in some fresh perspective to me..
eoh
i never thought about that. that's pretty deep. i suppose i've been lacking in the interpretation area of things.
ie, what does it all mean?? who knows.
mr morb,
aye - there's that. or, i could slauhgter some ladies of easy virtue, Jack the Ripper style.
If the rug fits..
hi, Wendy,
it get irritating when the shitty bit turns out to be the greater part of my life. but, who's counting.
Neko
I really hope the search for your ideas is paying off. I know you're a smart girl and that life can't hold you down forever. I hope the chains you carry are soon left behind you in the dust.
Godspeed you, dark empress!